Trailer Time!
April 18, 2013 Leave a comment
A slew of new trailers came out this week… Check them out! Which movie are you most excited for?
Man of Steel:
The Lone Ranger:
R.I.P.D
We're not critics, just fans
April 18, 2013 Leave a comment
A slew of new trailers came out this week… Check them out! Which movie are you most excited for?
Man of Steel:
The Lone Ranger:
R.I.P.D
March 31, 2013 Leave a comment
Happy Easter… Easter is a time when we celebrate rebirth or if you’re not religious, it’s a time for candy. So, in honor of Easter we celebrate the awesomeness of Easy A and harlots. Yes harlots.
Now, I’m a huge fan of 80s movies and the brilliant John Hughes. There are many directors and film that have tried to replicate his movies and I don’t believe any of them have really come close to capturing what it’s really like to be a teen – especially in a world where technology, image, and reputation is everything… That is until Easy A came along.
Emma Stone stars as Olive, a quiet, smart girl who really doesn’t get noticed. After the over-zealous religious Marianne (Amanda Bynes), overhears Olive and her best friend Rhiannon (Aly Michalka) talking about Olive having sex – even though she didn’t and is lying – spreads the rumor around school and people start talking. Things get weird when Olive’s gay friend, Brandon (Dan Byrd) , asks her to tell people that he had sex with him to get people to stop ridiculing him about being gay… She agrees but other outcasts find out what she did and ask her to do the same for them for various gifts and monetary items. Olive quickly becomes the harlot of the school and instead of hiding from the title, she tries to embrace it by taking a page from the Scarlet Letter and starts to wear riskier clothing and a red A on her shirts.
Wowza. Did you get all that? Don’t be turned off by the subject matter if you haven’t seen this film.
The movie presents everything in a really great, sensitive way that captures the anguish of the characters as they go through a whirlwind (Not world wind. I hate when people do that) of emotions. Emma Stone is hysterical as Olive and shows exactly why she is such a sought after young actress. The movie has a lot of laughs provided by a brilliant cast that includes Stanley Tucci, Lisa Kudrow, and Patricia Clarkson but most of all it has heart. This isn’t your normal run of the mill teen movie – there’s no bad acting, no shallow messages, just a funny, edgy film that comes close to the wisdom and cleverness that John Hughes’ classic films were.
NoCriticsHere Rating: Rent It.
March 30, 2013 Leave a comment
I’m not going to lie – I like a good animated film every once in awhile… I mean, Wreck-It-Ralph is my film! Don’t hate.
Anywho, The Croods is about a family of caveman who get uprooted from the safety of their cave and their way of life when the world as they knew it starts to change. Eathquakes, lava, and storms force them to move and start an adventure with a new friend, Guy (Ryan Reynolds), who has new ideas and ways of doing things that the Croods are not used to. Of course there is resistance from some of the members of the family, which pose some conflict – but it’s a family movie so you know it all comes together in the end.
Visually, I thought this film was awesome. The opening sequence when the family tries to steal an egg for breakfast is worth the price of admission alone. Bright colors, a fast-paced story, and some funny physical comedy will keep the little ones entertained. But, don’t be surprised if there is a slight disconnect – Kids probably won’t understand why some of the animals look the way they do or get some of the humor about assigning words to “new” discoveries but they will still have fun watching the film and honestly, that’s all that matters.
The film has a voice cast that includes: Emma Stone, Nicolas Cage, Cloris Leachman, and Catherine Keener.
My perspective might not matter, however, my five year old nephew liked it, so there’s that.
NoCriticsHere Rating: If Nothing Better is Out.
March 27, 2013 Leave a comment
Written By Kat: You know when your best friend does a terrible job at something – a speech, a performance, or is just wearing a horrendous outfit – but you don’t have the heart to tell him/her? You just want to lie to their faces and tell them that they did great or look awesome in that horrendous ensemble… yeah, that’s what I want to do about this movie. But then I’d be lying to you, you’d waste your money, and I don’t want you to do that.
Admission follows Portia Nathan (Tina Fey) an uptight, straight-laced, admissions officer from Princeton who, after meeting her could be son, takes a professional risk to try to get him into the Ivy League school even though he lacks the grades and credentials to get accepted. Throw in Paul Rudd as her love interest and you have yourself a romantic-comedy… except it’s not really a comedy… and it’s pretty light on the romance… so…
I wanted to like this movie but it just falls incredibly flat. The jokes (what little jokes that there are) are forced and I was pretty freaken bored throughout the movie. The only redeeming quality of this film was Lily Tomlin, who plays Susannah, Portia’s mother. Tomlin and Fey onscreen together was the only plus to Admission and not even those two could save this film from itself.
Kat’s Rating: Rent it for a dollar
March 26, 2013 Leave a comment
Written By: Kat – Wait a second here… Didn’t Olympus Has Fallen have the exact same premise as White House Down? Or are we just going to forget about that movie and move on to this one? Move on, you say? OK. Here’s the new trailer for White House Down… I do have to say it looks better than Olympus Has Fallen – and it doesn’t have Gerard Butler in it so that a plus, eh? Oh, and why isn’t Tatum wearing a shirt. I mean, can someone get this guy a shirt?! You know, now that I look at the movie poster, I feel like he’s channeling Will Smith via Independence Day.
And just to show you I’m not crazy about my Will Smith theory….
March 25, 2013 Leave a comment
Written By: Kat – Summer is just around the corner and you know what that means… Summer movies. NoCriticsHere will try to give you a break down, by month, of what movies you should see, what you should skip, and when your favorite movies are coming out. Throw in a few trailers and you have got yourself the best guide for your summer viewing – with a few snide/cynical remarks in between. Hey, it wouldn’t be NoCriticsHere without those. Source:IMDB
Here’s what’s on tap for the month of May:
Iron Man 3
When It Comes Out: May 3
Synopsis: Robert Downey Jr. is back as the egotistical Tony Stark, in what looks to be the darkest film in the Iron Man franchise. Stark’s world is torn apart by a terrorist named Mandarin and it looks like none of his Avenger friends are around to help him out.
See, Skip, Rent: See the damn movie. 
Generation Um
When It Comes Out: May 3
Synopsis: Keanu Reeves is back… and not as the guy from the Matrix. The previews are vague for this one but according to IMDB, Generation Um follows a day in the life of John and his two beautiful cohorts as they live life on the fringe, immersed in sex, drugs and indecision. As they navigate their daily routine of bars, crowds and New York City living, they embark on a path of self-discovery.
See, Skip, Rent: Yeah, you should definitely rent this one. Now go and youtube “Keanu Reeves bad acting – Dracula” and you can thank me later.
The Great Gatsby
When It Comes Out:May 10
Synopsis: Based on the acclaimed novel, Toby Maguire plays Nick Carraway, the man who finds himself living next to a rich but mysterious man, Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio). But soon, Carraway realizes that he is witnessing madness, obsession, and impossible dreams as Gatsby tries to relive the past.
See, Skip, Rent: We’re split down the middle here at NoCriticsHere on whether this is going to be any good or not but go see it. Baz Luhrmann’s futuristic look and feel will either add to the classic novel or will just make it laughable.
Tyler Perry Presents Peeples
When It Comes Out: May 10
Synopsis: I don’t know and I don’t care. It’s a Tyler Perry movie. I guess I should check if Madea is in this one or not.
See, Skip, Rent: Run away and please for the love of all that’s holy, save your money.
Star Trek: Into The Darkness
When It Comes Out: May 17
Synopsis: A terrible title that sounds like a porno but anywho – After the crew of the Enterprise find an unstoppable force of terror from within their own organization, Captain Kirk leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture a one man weapon of mass destruction.
See, Skip, Rent: See the damn movie… even if you’re not a trekkie. 
Fast and Furious 6
When It Comes Out: May 24
Synopsis: Agent Hobbs enlists the aid of Dom and team to help bring a rival gang, led by Owen Shaw, to justice. In exchange for clear records, they must put an end to their schemes, no matter how personal the cost… I’m fist pumping right now! Paul Walker has a job!!
See, Skip, Rent: Duh. See the damn movie!
The Hangover Part III
When It Comes Out: May 24
Synopsis: Ummm… I’m assuming they get drunk again and have to piece together the night? Am I right? Did anyone even see the second movie? Yes? Huh. Interesting.
See, Skip, Rent: The trailer and the jokes look tired to me… except this time instead of a monkey it’s a giraffe, so that might be noteworthy. If nothing better is out…
Epic
When It Comes Out: May 24
Synopsis: A teenager finds herself transported to a deep forest setting where a battle between the forces of good and the forces of evil is taking place. She bands together with a rag-tag group characters in order to save their world — and ours. 
See, Skip, Rent: See the Damn movie.
Now You See Me
When It Comes Out: May 31
Synopsis: FBI agents track a team of illusionists who pull off bank heists during their performances and reward their audiences with the money.
See, Skip, Rent: If nothing better is out.
March 24, 2013 1 Comment
Written By: Kat - Do you remember this? If you don’t, let me enlighten you to this little movie… and all the drama that surrounded it when it came out in 2004.
Jersey Girl, Kevin Smith’s most light-hearted film dedicated to his late father, is about a widowed father, Ollie (Ben Affleck) who, after losing his wife and his job, is forced to move back in with his father (George Carlin) in New Jersey and raise his little girl, Gertie (Raquel Castro). Listen, Jersey Girl is no cinematic feat – It’s a pretty standard romantic comedy but at least it has some heart. If you can get past the eye-rolling moments, you might be able to appreciate the chemistry between Affleck and Castro. Seriously, who doesn’t love a good father-daughter story?
What I always found more interesting than the movie is the drama that surrounded it back in 2004. The film, which was slated to open in the fall of 2003, was actually pushed back to 04’ because Miramax thought that the presence of Jennifer Lopez in the film would remind movie goers of Gigli. Not only did they push the film back, but they also cut down the number of scenes Lopez was in and tailored their marketing campaign to make sure viewers new she died within the first 20 minutes of the film. Epic.
During Affleck’s Oscar speech – yea know, the one where he said his and Garner’s relationship took a lot of ‘work’ (ouch) – he said “you can’t
hold grudges… And it doesn’t matter how you get knocked down in life; that’s going happen. All that matters is you’ve got to get up.” I wonder if he was referencing Jersey Girl – if he was, I don’t think he should be ashamed… but yes, if he was talking about Gigli and Daredevil then I totally understand.
P.S – If getting knocked down involves getting paid $12.5 million for making Gigli then I would like to get knocked down. Often. Can someone make this happen, please?
Kat’s Rating: If it happens to be on TV…